


Constellations

by Ash2411



Series: Yet [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-07-27 00:16:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7595836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ash2411/pseuds/Ash2411
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bellamy's on leave from the Navy, visiting his friends and family. And of course, Clarke. </p><p>The prompt was to write a Bellarke au where Bellamy is in the military.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Constellations

“That was so much fun, oh my god.” Octavia says, bounding down the sidewalk. Lincoln weaves his fingers into hers, smiling.

“Fun? That’s your idea of fun?!” Murphy says loudly. “Zip lining over a huge ass canyon is not fun, Octavia. It’s deadly.”

“Shut up, Murphy.” Raven says, shoving his shoulder before leaping onto Roan’s back for a piggy-back ride.

“It was thrilling that’s for sure.” Jasper says says excitedly.

“The people writing that brochure were not kidding…” Monty says, still shaking slightly.

Bellamy laughs, watching his friends gush and argue. Clarke’s walking beside him, their hands close but not touching. If she’s honest, Bellamy makes her heart pound harder than ziplining ever will. She tries to forget the aching feeling she knows will hit her in the wake of his absence.

“So, Mr. Navy, zip lining too tame for you?” Clarke asks, gently bumping his shoulder. It’s like an electric shock whenever they touch. Clarke ignores it.

He looks at her and grins. “Well, it certainly doesn’t compare to top secret Navy operations. It’s a piece of cake compared to that.”

Clarke gives him a disdainful look. Or she tries to at least.

“Are you going to come back to Raven’s for a while?” Clarke asks.

“Yeah, I guess I can hang out with you losers for a while.” Bellamy says with a smirk.

“How’s…Gina?” Clarke asks. She tries to keep her voice even. Bellamy and Gina have been dating for a few months. She’s beautiful and smart. Clarke can’t even hate her. She’s too damn sweet.

“Uh…” Bellamy starts. He shoves his hands into his pockets and looks straight ahead. “Gina and I broke up, actually.”

“Oh.” Clarke says. She feels happiness and then guilt in a matter of seconds. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Bellamy responds. He leaves it at that.

“When did it happen?” Clarke asks tentatively.  
“Last week…It’s not a big deal. She thought something was getting between us. And I don’t disagree so we’ve decided to just be friends.” Bellamy says, looking over at Clarke. The way he says it makes Clarke wonder what the ‘something’ could be.

“Well, if you need anything, I’m here.” Clarke says. Things feel tense for a moment. “So, I’m pretty sure you owe me a piggyback ride.”

“What? I don’t think so Griffin.” Bellamy says, grinning.

“That was the deal when we played poker last night.” Clarke teases.

“You’re a pain in the ass.” Bellamy says, rolling his eyes but he stops for her to jump on his back all the same.

*****

It’s nearly 11 and everyone is still awake and vibrant. Clarke doesn’t understand how they do it. They’re all playing Clue and it’s as though someone really has been murdered. Accusations are thrown about the room, name calling ensues and it all ends in laughter. Clarke watches them play, sipping a beer too tired to join in.

Clarke looks around the room, but the person she’s searching for isn’t there. She wanders down the hall, looking for any sign of him, but it isn’t until she looks out one of the windows that she glimpses him. Bellamy is lying down in the grass outside, staring upwards at the stars. Something about it all looks and feels so lonely to Clarke.

Bellamy sits up and turns around when he hears footsteps behind him, surprised to see Clarke. “Hey, Princess.” He sighs. His voice is always so warm and deep; Clarke wants to submerse herself in it.

“Hey.” Clarke says back, sitting down next to him, her skin vibrating with the closeness. Bellamy feels like he can’t catch his breath. He steals a glance at her before laying back again and pointing upwards. Clarke looks down at him and feels herself falling. She lays back in the grass next to him and looks up to where he’s pointing.

“See that, Clarke?” He points to a wide, but faint stripe in the sky above them. “That’s the Milky Way.” The universe is so big and they are so so small, but Clarke feels smaller than ever before looking up into a tangled array of stars splattered across a black sky. “That’s Cassiopeia above us there.” Clarke follows the path of his finger to a group of stars twinkling in the darkness. “That’s the little dipper on one side of it, and the big dipper on the other side.” His hand moves in an arc before falling by his side.

“They’re beautiful.” Clarke says quietly. She doesn’t know what else to say to him. There are a lot of things she wants to say but isn’t sure she can.

I’m sorry.

I shouldn’t have left.

I should’ve asked you to stay.

I shouldn’t have lied all those times you asked if I was okay.

I should’ve told you how I felt.

How I feel.

“I missed you.” Clarke says. It sounds weak in her ears, but it’s all she has.

Bellamy doesn’t look at her. He’s still looking above, but his brow is furrowed and his mouth turns downward in a frown. “I missed you too.” It’s hard for him to say, but it’s all he has. He wants to hold her hand so badly. It’s so close, but it feels light years away from the tips of his fingers. If he reaches out and grazes her hands, he risks it all. Clarke and Bellamy have always drifted in gray areas.

“When do you have to go back?” Clarke asks.

“I leave tomorrow.” Bellamy says. Part of him needs to leave and part of him wants to stay.

Clarke sits up quickly and looks down at him. He meets her eyes. “You just got here.”

“I know. But, I only had a few days leave.” Bellamy answers sitting up and looking away. He rests his arms on his knees and looks out at the ocean, downing the beer Clarke brought him. Then he stands and stretches.before reaching down to help Clarke up. “Come on, Princess.”

Clarke stands and Bellamy starts walking towards the house. “Wait, Bellamy!”

He turns around and looks at her and she sees something in his eyes that she recognizes all too well. “I’m so sorry for leaving.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry for leaving. I never should have trusted her.” Clarke says. She swallows hard. “I never should have left with Lexa.” Bellamy doesn’t respond. His eyes search Clarke’s, but he can’t quite make out what she’s trying to tell him. “I was gone for a long time. I wasn’t here when you needed me and I should’ve been. I should’ve known that you were right.”

“I don’t want to be right, Clarke. I want you to be happy.” Bellamy says. His words are so clear and honest and they strike her to the core.

“I know.” Clarke’s voice begins to shake. “I thought Lexa was what I needed to get over Finn. I thought leaving with her would make it all go away-I thought that maybe leaving all of this behind meant leaving all the pain behind.”

Bellamy shakes his head. “Doesn’t work like that, huh?”

Clarke’s eyes sting but she doesn’t cry. “Finn and I never found any closure. We weren’t together when he died and that somehow made it worse. We argued. I told him that he was crazy and then he went and…he went and died.”

“I should’ve followed him after you two argued. I should’ve stopped him.” Bellamy says, taking a step towards Clarke, instinctually.

“Bellamy, you stayed with me. You were the only person who stayed with me.” Clarke chokes out. “Everyone blamed me for his death. But not you.”

“It wasn’t your fault. Finn would never have blamed you. It was an accident.”

“But he was drinking in that car because of me. Because I couldn’t love him like he loved me. Not after I found out about him and Raven. Not after I realized that he hurt her.”

“Don't’ say that. Clarke, don’t.” Bellamy pleads, shaking his head. “You didn’t kill him.”

“I may as well have. And then I ran away with Lexa a few weeks later. Like nothing happened. I ran away even though you asked me to stay.” Clarke can’t stop the tears now. “I let her treat me like shit because it was easier than being here and watching everyone grieve. It was easier than forgiving myself.”

Bellamy looks at her and deflates. Everything inside him screams at him to hold her, but he can’t make his arms move. He can’t make himself do this one small thing. Because what if it’s the wrong thing and it hurts Clarke even more.

“You were too good for me.” She says through her tears..

“What? Clarke, what’re you talking about?” Bellamy asks, moving towards her and gently pulling her hands away from her face.

“I knew you cared about me. And I knew I didn’t deserve you. I messed everything up. And when I finally came home, you were gone.” Clarke’s chest is aching. She thinks she may die from the pain of this. “You’d left for the Navy and you were with Gina. And she was so sweet and so good and I wanted to let you be happy.”

“Clarke…” Bellamy breathes. “I loved Gina. But, I couldn’t love her the way she deserved to be loved. I couldn’t love her the way I love you.” There are tears in his eyes and his heart is trying to climb out of his chest. These are the words that he’s held inside him for so long. There they are in the open and he’s never felt so bare. But, Bellamy is leaving again. He’ll be gone for a long time and he doesn’t know when he’ll see Clarke Griffin again. He doesn’t want to leave her with the weight of those words. “I’m sorry-”

“No, don’t.” Clarke says. She tries to wipe away her tears but more come and she gives up. “Please don’t ever apologize for saying those words.”

Clarke steps towards him and his arms open to her like they were always meant to. He lifts her feet off the ground, wrapping his muscular arms around her small frame. She nuzzles into his neck, the smell of his skin intoxicating and warm. “I love you.” She says into his ear. She can feel his heart beating against her and she can hear the way his breathing catches.

Bellamy sighs, burying his face in her blonde waves. Both of them feel like Clarke pulls back slightly to look into his face. His smile is bittersweet and when she kisses him she can feel it beneath her lips. She’s thought about this so many times.

Bellamy opens to her, unable to stop himself. All he’s ever wanted is for Clarke to be safe and happy. And now he’s her safe and happy and something about that feels so right.

*****

“Got your bags?” Clarke asks. “Snacks? Water?”

“Clarke,” Bellamy says laughing. “I’ve got everything. Okay?”

Clarke nods. “Okay, fine. Question though.” Bellamy raises his eyebrows. “Why do you ever take that uniform off?”

Bellamy shakes his head and catches her lips with his own. “I should’ve worn this around you years ago.”

“You should keep it forever.” Clarke wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him on the cheek. His arms slide around her and squeeze her tightly. Clarke tries to pull away, but Bellamy stops her.

“Hey, I’m not done yet.” He grumbles jokingly.  
Clarke laughs and closes her eyes, savoring the feeling.


End file.
